15 Can’t-Miss Ways to Declutter Your Mind

Mike Smith Says:

December 13th, 2007, 21:43 pm

Awesome article. I do a few of these things already. :)

Insomnia is a big part of me, so the sleeping patterns thing doesn’t really bother me because I’m used to this and when I sleep too much, I feel like crap.

Andrew Says:

December 13th, 2007, 22:27 pm

Nice list. I will have to try some of these out and put them into practice. I’m considering getting rid of my TVs all together. It is just such a waste of time. The only problem is that I have cable internet. So without having cable, I lose this high-speed internet.

Mike Smith Says:

December 13th, 2007, 23:08 pm

Andrew, do you get the internet through Comcast? If you do, you aren’t required to have the TV in order to have internet.

Cindy S Says:

December 13th, 2007, 23:49 pm

I think that identifying what is essential is probably the most valuable and most difficult advice that you give. It’s hard to tell the difference between what is important and what is urgent when it seems like there is a crisis a minute.

Great post….

Maulik Bhatt Says:

December 14th, 2007, 0:19 am

That’s a great post, Leo. I follow some of the tricks to declutter my mind. But the best trick I follow is to play a musical instrument. That relieves a lot of stress from my mind. If you like to play or listen to some music, that is the best way to relieve your stress.

Usman Akhtar Says:

December 14th, 2007, 0:44 am

A very good way of calming the mind is to do a self head massage.

You can do it with warm oil, cold oil, or no oil at all. As you start to slowly massage your head your worries will begin to melt away. Remember to just close your eyes and focus on your breathing, and try not to think of anything. It also helps to turn off any artificial lights, or change your environment in another way by doing it in your backyard at night or before sunrise, while listening to some nature sounds like birds chirping.

Note: using olive oil has many benefits including : really healthy and good looking hair, a more alert brain, and ( don’t ask me how or why i know this, but helps prevent dandruff )

Mrs. Micah Says:

December 14th, 2007, 1:10 am

Unfortunately, Mike, tv and internet from Comcast is actually cheaper in some situations when you can’t find better packages. And they have the monopoly on your area…

Tina Su - Think Simple Now Says:

December 14th, 2007, 1:25 am

I was in a yoga class one time and heard that if your inhale breath is longer than your exhale breath that it has a way to relax you. So we did these counting our breaths exercises, first evening out our breath so that it’s the same count both in and out, and then adding a count to the in, then adding another.

Try it.

Meditation, (sorry, breathing :) ) is also effective. Closing your eyes, letting thoughts go and just focus on one thing.. anything, it can be your breath or a sound or a word in your imagination.

Ann M. Says:

December 14th, 2007, 1:38 am

All great ideas!

@Maulik: I also like the playing an instrument idea. I break out my guitar and it can be so relaxing.

One thing I would add would be meditation. I’ve figured out that you don’t need to be an expert meditate effectively.

Warren Says:

December 14th, 2007, 4:29 am

Breathing meditation really helps me. Also, listening to music keeps my mind clear.

The best way I have found to clear out the clutter is to give your time to someone for a little while. You don’t even have to spill out your own problems on them. You can listen to them, enjoy their company.

For me, my younger sister is a great release. She is still at an age where she always want to play so giving my time to her really get me back on track. All the mind clutter goes away.

Vince Says:

December 14th, 2007, 4:43 am

Closing my eyes and listen to music or the world always helps me. However I am not always able to do this when I am at work.

Nice article.

Shiroh Says:

December 14th, 2007, 4:44 am

I find exercise a good way to declutter my mind

Shiroh Says:

December 14th, 2007, 4:44 am

And i forgot you have a great site here that keeps me inspired.

Lola Fayemi Says:

December 14th, 2007, 6:26 am

Hi Leo

I agree with you wholeheartedly, whenever things feel a bit busy in my head I take steps to declutter too. My favourite methods are offloading to a like-mind or Coach and meditation (breathing and being present in my body). I have recently also noted the benefits of going out and having a dance, good conversation and alcohol!

Sometimes we take life too seriously and some good old fashioned fun, every now and then, is just what the Doctor ordered. I used to do it too much and since awakening looked down on it as empty and meaningless activity, but it’s all about the balance and there’s still learning to be had.

In love, light and abundance x x x

Lola

Kenneth - Guy From Success Blog Says:

December 14th, 2007, 6:40 am

Our mind need to rest in a certain of time, I’ve been told that take a few minute and look at “GREEN” things that included trees, flowers, grass… can relaxify your mind and also it’s good for your eyes.

Anyone know everything about that? Is it true?

@Stephen | Productivity in Context Says:

December 14th, 2007, 8:13 am

Leo, great stuff. I believe that #12. “Let Go” should get moved up on the list. Finding a way to stop worrying about things beyond your control can be a huge help in reducing your stress. I find it to be a powerful help in keeping things in perspective.

Eugene (Editor, Varsity Blah) Says:

December 14th, 2007, 8:16 am

Hey Leo! Thanks for the comprehensive list. I’m so glad you touched on priorities. It’s something I’ve written about as well:

“The best way I’ve found to deal with stress is to manage my time. Like I said in Work in Progress, it’s about taking care of the big things so the little ones take care of themselves and the really little ones don’t bother me at all. To do that, I ask three questions to decide whether or not to do anything.

“Firstly: Does it have to be done at all? If it’s not really important, I don’t do it! Secondly: Does it have to be done by me? If someone else can do it instead, I let them! Thirdly: Does it have to be done today? If I can put it off until later, I do. (Of course this assumes it won’t be put off forever!) Ultimately, it’s about working on what matters, focusing on one thing at a time, and always remembering that life is not meant to be taken too seriously.”

Keep it up!

Mark Dykeman Says:

December 14th, 2007, 9:01 am

Wonderful post. Many of us suffer from the results of clutter, whether mental or physical.

As an expansion of point 5, I’d highly recommend the use of “morning pages”, as espoused by The Artist’s Way.

linlu Says:

December 14th, 2007, 10:28 am

Thanks to you I discovered the Flylady.net system. Related to “Writing Stuff Down” is to create checklists for the repetitive tasks you do on a daily/weekly basis. Mine are broken down into 5 lists. Four for home:
1. Morning, 2. After work, 3. Evening & 4. Weekly by day of the week. One for work: I have task rows and day of the week columns (grid).

It’s amazing how much less stress I feel simply by capturing my repetitive tasks in checklists. Also thanks to Flylady’s recommendation that you keep those checklists in page protectors, I only have to print them out when I make a change. Why page protectors? So I can check off items with a dry erase marker and erase them when the time period expires (daily or weekly).

I tried GTD and Flylady simply turned those concepts into a workable system for me. I don’t feel stressed at all in the mornings when I am trying to get ready and get my kids on the bus and off to daycare - as long as I follow my lists. Anything task outside the repetitive tasks is written on a post-it or on my calendar (also thanks to Flylady).

So now when I am going to work in the morning, I can simply enjoy listening to my iPod and my children and not have a bazillion things running through my mind stressing me out (and causing me to snap at my kids).

Modern Worker Says:

December 14th, 2007, 10:57 am

I’m in agreement with Tina here on meditation. It has been my single most effective method of relaxation/decluttering. Health benefits to boot!

Philip Says:

December 14th, 2007, 11:13 am

Thanks for the great list, Leo! I just started hanging out here last week, and you have quite an inspiring site.

The breathing thing is key for me.

Just did a workshop at my parents’ church on Centering Prayer (basically an early Christian form of meditation/breathing). I found it enlightening. Basically, instead of your breath, you pick out a sacred word that brings you back to your center, essentially bringing you back to God. It’s not really a mantra, in that you don’t repeat it constantly. Just sit and watch your thoughts. If you find yourself attached to any of them, being drawn away from the calm center into the clutter and confusion, just remember your sacred word and let it pull you back to center.

Father Thomas Keating is really the modern master of this practice. He teaches four R’s - 1) we don’t Resist our thoughts, allow them to be; 2) we don’t Retain our thoughts, allow them to pass; 3) we don’t React emotionally to our thoughts, at least we don’t hold onto our emotional reactions longer than necessary; and 4) we always Return to the sacred word, a gentle reminder of God in us.

Also, I get into exercise and journaling to clear the clutter. Hope you all have a great day!

Philip | Brickhousebodymind.com

fergal curran Says:

December 14th, 2007, 13:46 pm

Stilling the mind gives clear focus. brings you to your best.
mind , body and soul relaxed. Good advice.
Relaxing saves energy. love is the source of joy so being still puts us close to the divine mind. God is love.
Being in touch with love relaxes us and keeps negativity away. Ten minutes morning and evening works for me.
Joy to all

gregory Says:

December 14th, 2007, 14:02 pm

one more….. relate to who is having the thoughts, not to the thoughts…

Eric Says:

December 14th, 2007, 14:37 pm

Light a candle and stare at the flame. Watch as flame flickers and moves. Slow your breathing and just let everything around you slow or stop. Then just focus on your thoughts go through them as if they were files 1 by 1. May take awhile but you will feel better afterwards

Anne Says:

December 14th, 2007, 15:57 pm

Yes yes & yes. What a great list. I love how you take it down to the essentials every time. Ever since I started yago about a year ago, I have been using breathing to help me focus and stay calm. The other thing I have been doing taht really helps when I driving or something is to try to be in the moment. Really feel how I sit in the seat. How the steering wheel feels, what exactly am I seeign as I drive by. Of course driving slower is absolutely a good idea on that one. By focusing on actually being in the moment, it calms down the chatter in my mind. It is very easy for me to zone out when I’m driving because I drive the same 22 mile route at least twice a day. Parts of it, I may drive more than twice a day while I’m running errands. I know it by heart and often I arrive at my destination without registering how I got there. My mind has been occupied with others things taht are not present. I am there in body but not spirit. So I try to liv ein the moment in situations where I doing something repetitive. When I am stressing, I try to stick to focusing on my breathing.

Starfire Says:

December 14th, 2007, 16:50 pm

Great article, Leo!

Like many of the other commenters, it’s the sleep one that gets me. I have the disadvantage that I can function externally reasonably well on 5-6 hours sleep a night (or I have been able to - I’ve noticed I’m functioning less and less well on short-sleep as I’m growing older :-S)

Unfortunately, functioning well externally and functioning well internally aren’t the same thing, and it makes a HUGE different in my mood and attitude when I give my body the sleep it needs.

Thanks for the reminder

STARFIRE

Char Reed Says:

December 14th, 2007, 19:47 pm

Hey Leo,

The hardest tip for me to take in on this list is “letting go”. Can you possibly make an additional post to this one, specifically relating to that issue? I’ve had some bad relationships in the past and even a year later I harbour negative feelings when recalling the relationships (mostly feelings of remorse and regret). A post on *how* to “let go” would be very helpful to me. I’ve tried a few things, but they don’t seem to work. Very lately, instead of thinking back a year ago about something I feel upset about, I try to think back to yesterday and what exactly I did. It seems to help. I hope to hear your thoughts on the matter.

Thanks,
Char

Vanessa Van Petten Says:

December 14th, 2007, 21:46 pm

Another thing that really helps me is humming. Somewhere once i had read that recalling a tune and then humming it and letting your lips relax and tingle actually totally resets your brain because music is recalled in a different part of the brain. So sometimes if i am feeling overwhelmed or ‘cluttered’ I hum an old song and close my eyes and it def works to relax and refresh your thinking!

Anne Says:

December 14th, 2007, 22:13 pm

I would like to add my vote to Char’s about doing a post on letting go. Some things I’ve been able to let go of, but other things…

It’s like I’ll never forget and I’m still pretty upset about whatever it was.

I noticed quite of few typos in my earlier post. All is I can say is that my personal editor took today off and my inner spell checker is broken.

Albert | UrbanMonk.Net Says:

December 14th, 2007, 22:17 pm

Letting go is tremendously powerful, but sometimes it feels like it doesn’t work, because we expect it to go all at once. It doesn’t. Most of the time we are scooping it out by using little cups, so it is a long process. And make sure you’re letting go of the emotions (which underlie the thoughts), and not the thoughts itself. The emotions are the factory, so to speak.

Cheers,
Albert | UrbanMonk.Net
Modern personal development, entwined with ancient spirituality.

John Martinek Says:

December 14th, 2007, 22:23 pm

I am sorry to add a voice that is not in concordance with this positive feeling you all seem to have about yourselves and your adherence to this relaxation remedy.
First of all, did you ever consider the possibility that there is a very good reason why people do not feel at ease during this present era in America. What do we have to learn from the story of Nero fiddling while Rome burned? Is your collective fealty to relaxation similar to Nero’s fiddling. I can imagine that Nero and his friends, who were let’s say. all musicians of one sort or another, would have nothing but zealous confirmation toward the activity of playing music. Whether it is during times of tragedy, prosperity and happiness, or even events and situations that non-musicians agree undoubtably, call for a reaction more akin to a sober, quiet contemplation than the more bacchanalian response of music, it is easy to imagine Nero and his musician friends always responding to the event with a song or the unstructered response of just playing. But is it possible that something is very wrong with their response?
The point being that what for them felt like the only approproate answer or response to every and any event, good, bad, serious, whimsical or truly apocalyptical, might very will seem like avoidance, neglect and inappropriateness to non-musicians.
So it is not to go on record as someone who is against fiddling or meditative relaxation, but it is the appropriatness of relaxing right now that I question. We are in a time when what we need more than ever before is to have people recognize that what is being done by our leaders and representatives calls for us to take drastic and immediate action. Education, healthcare, the good and fair interaction with other countries and cultures, honesty of intention (example - why are we really still in Iraq), respect and preservation of our one and only environment: mother earth and so on.
America, the people that earned tremendous and unprecedented respect from the civilized world with our actions in a troubled world theatre during the beginning and middle of the last century, is now quickly and thoroughly, eroding away that respect and drawing an equally unprecedented scorn and ridicule from the rest of the world.
I have the strongest feeling that if you are intelligent enough to understand what I am saying, you need to join me in, not relaxing, but in sounding the alarm as loudly and urgently as you can. Get up off that tatami mat and go ring the village bells. We’ll relax after we save our world.

monyeman Says:

December 14th, 2007, 23:42 pm

Am i the only one who thought something else at 15.. “Get a load off”.

I really thought it was a way to de-clutter.

yudika Says:

December 14th, 2007, 23:47 pm

agree white u. and do not forget, one way to decluttering our life is become religious one.

Cibron Nethis Says:

December 15th, 2007, 5:44 am

Great stuff. I’ll try to use them.

Also, i know some things… It’s useful to spend some time in dark place (room) and some more time in complete silence.

Anu Schnuck Says:

December 15th, 2007, 6:38 am

I liked your article…but take issue with the fact that a 5000+ sq foot home is minimalistic. (I followed your link to decluttering the home).

Steve Nguyen - BeyondBehaviors.Com Says:

December 15th, 2007, 10:31 am

Leo: Thanks for the tips about decluttering your mind. I’m definitely one of those who “identify, eliminate, and simplify.”

I think the Westernize/American way of life is obsessed with things. We fill our days, our time, and our minds with going after and consuming material objects that it’s difficult to “be still.” Everywhere we look things are moving at hyperspeed.

In my case, I moved 7000 miles away from Texas to live in Saipan (an island in the North Pacific Ocean) and found that slow and quiet meant some peace of mind for my life.

Now that I’m back in Texas (to be closer to my family) I find that my heart and mind yearn for that sense of “quiet and stillness.”

Kenneth - Guy From Success Blog Says:

December 15th, 2007, 13:18 pm

Listen to High School Musical songs.. I found it’s very relaxing and happy.

John Mudd aka the mad monk Says:

December 15th, 2007, 18:28 pm

The essential ingredient of these tips is: becoming Aware of your mind, which is synonymous with Waking Up. Establish an impartial observer who watches over your thought processes. Then identify your True Self with/as the impartial observer. Practice this simple act without self-blame or -criticism whenever you can remember to do it. When you start to experience blank/empty spaces, DON’T PANIC! This is the “clear empty sky” that many monks enjoy.

Mikeachim Says:

December 15th, 2007, 19:02 pm

All makes sense of me.

It’s important to take points 3) and 4), and apply them to our surroundings and material culture too. In fact, I’d argue that’s the root of a lot of stress in the modern world - too much ‘Stuff’.

Stuff weighs us down, mentally. It makes us feel an obligation towards too many options, especially if each of these options cost a fair whack of money. And it’s all tied in with the ‘consumer arms race’, where we feel a need to get the latest versions of Stuff because they give us more even options (options that we can’t take advantage of because we’re *way* beyond saturation point).

It’s important to analyse and boil away the things that we have but don’t need and never use. They’re just taking up space, in our houses and in our heads. Get rid of them - and suddenly there’s more room for the important things……

Alex Blackwell Says:

December 16th, 2007, 10:01 am

Great list. I especially like “Breathe.” Sometimes we just need to take a step back and relax our body, and mind.

Woodwose Says:

December 16th, 2007, 13:02 pm

Always be aware of the sudden blossoming of lust in your life - whether it’s for a donut when you’re not hungry or a new car even when your present vehicle is still mechanically sound - grab the feeling and expose it to the hot light of reason to wither it.
Soon you will find less and less of these unreasonable wants springing up, like a well tended garden producing less weeds.
It is a decluttered and refreshing feeling to stand in a storm of “Buy me”s, “Become like me”s, and “You’ve got to”s, especially at this time of year, and not have them affect you.

Anne Says:

December 16th, 2007, 15:01 pm

@John Martinek You bring up a good point about how our surroundings affect our stress levels and the mind clutter we experience. How much we take on mentally of the world’s problems will affect our mental state.

But let’s just go a little further and ask, can I ever have any peace if I just let these thoughts build up? Can I personally do anything in my corner of the world to remedy these global problems? How can I get motivated to do anything if my mind is consumed with all the things that are wrong and out of balance? Am I not then also out of balance and contibuting to the worldwide lack of balance?

I believe that the mental stillness of decluttering our minds will clear a space for each one to realize their potential and actually do something constructive and efficient to solve the problems in their particular universe.

Marlin Says:

December 16th, 2007, 17:47 pm

I think the way you start your day makes a big difference. If I start the day checking my e-mail or going on the internet then I tend to think about the apocalypse for the rest of the day. If I wake up and chant or go for a walk, I still think about the apocalypse, but it doesnt seem as bad.

Anne Says:

December 16th, 2007, 18:45 pm

@Marlin; Yeah - I agree that what you do first thing in the morning will probably have a big effect on your day. I like Leo’s tips in his Early Riser Training. Enjoy the sunrise.

I like to be up earlier than everyone else because it gives me time to reflect on what three things need to happen that day and I can be organized within myself before the pitter-patter of little feet begins.

Leo Says:

December 16th, 2007, 20:04 pm

@Anu: Good point … however, I think you’re referring to the photo in the article … I just liked the minimalist feel of the photo, and thought it went well with the article, and am not recommending that particular home as a minimalist house. It’s nice looking, though! :)

Dr. Kirk Laman / Heart Guru Says:

December 17th, 2007, 15:25 pm

Try a change of Heart: I love your post. It’s very practical. I’d like to add the concept of “Peace of Heart.” We all think about the mind, but what the mystical Sufi’s talk about is how focusing more on the heart can melt the mind. It’s an idea that by living more from the heart the mind’s chatter will go.

You can check out a longer comment on this at my blog posting: http://blog.drkirklaman.com/2007/12/11/time-to-find-peace-of-heart/

Yvonne Handford Says:

December 17th, 2007, 22:36 pm

Congratulations on a great article. Its very difficult to do anything with a cluttered mind that is racing all over the place. Quietness and peace comes within. When the inner world functions with true harmony then this will reflect in the outer world.

thank you for reminding me of the universal law of peace, success and happiness.

Yvonne
http://www.Universalhealingcentre.com

John Martinek Says:

December 17th, 2007, 22:57 pm

Anne: Have to say that I agree with you. If I were to refine my point, with an amendment based on your comments, I would say that I believe there is nothing healthier than clearing the mind peacefully. Just so we are able to come outward and fight the fights that need to be fought - lest all the bad guys that seem to abound these days don’t take over completely.

Seeker Says:

December 18th, 2007, 17:33 pm

Awesome article. Another way I use to declutter my mind is to spend time with children. The innocence of a child is such a relaxant and takes my mind of unnecessary botherations.

Very hand tips btw!!

————————————
My Positivity Blog http://positivityhub.com/

Jill Malleck Says:

December 18th, 2007, 17:37 pm

I like this list. I find that concentrating on a Mandala helps me to focus when I am meditating. You can find downloads to colour on the net.

I also find it de-clutters your own mind pretty fast when you concentrate on someone else. Really get empathetic - listen and care for someone who needs you. Watch your worries disappear.

JR Says:

December 19th, 2007, 23:20 pm

Great post Leo. I just posting something similar to this today about how the key to all real personal power comes from a relaxed mind. Article link here: http://www.zen-articles.com/Energy/E_1/62-E_1/308-your-greatest-weapon-your-ability-to-relax

Thanks again for the tips!

Scott McArthur Says:

December 22nd, 2007, 20:11 pm

This is great! I love this time of year and all the lists that seem to appear. I’m going to try this for myself!

Peaches Says:

December 24th, 2007, 17:03 pm

loved the piece, very useful tips and practical too. Would love to add take a ‘real vacation’ sometimes to that list

kritika Says:

January 6th, 2008, 13:27 pm

i think talking to yourself in front of a mirror about a problem also helps a lot in making your mind clearer about that problem and finding a solution to it.

Nicklaus Deyring Says:

January 10th, 2008, 17:47 pm

This is a great article, trying to do each of these once a week is a great way to go.

Nani Says:

February 26th, 2008, 0:50 am

I saw this list for the first time. I find it very good. Then I read Char Reed and Ann. They wish for help in letting go. Do you wish to forget? The more you want to forget something, the more and better you remember it. Ask yourself WHY you want to forget. Feelings of remorse and regret imply that you need to forgive. Find out who you need to forgive. Whether it is yourself or others, it is the same - until you forgive, you won’t be able to forget. And even after you forgive, you may never forget, BUT, the memory will be less and less painful.

Why do we get upset, with others or ourselves? Because we have expectations, and when people don’t fill those expectations, we are upset. When WE don’t behave the way we feel we should have behaved, we are also upset with ourselves.

So we must learn to forgive others, and ourselves, for not being “just as we would like them or ourselves to be, or to behave or to talk”.

I found this little exercise to be very helpful (I think in the book Love is Letting Go of Fear, by Gerald Jampolsky, a great little book that I highly recommend). First you pinpoint who exactly are you upset with. Then you say:

” X (whoever the person is), I FORGIVE YOU FOR NOT BEING EXACTLY THE WAY I WOULD LIKE YOU TO BE. I FORGIVE YOU, I RELEASE YOU, I SET YOU FREE.” The first time that you do this, repeat it as many times as necessary, saying the words with all your heart. You may doubt it, but repeating it with all your heart, and aloud, will work like soap and water to remove the hurt.

The next time the memory and pain comes up, repeat this exercise. If you are in public, do the repetitions silently, in your mind, BUT WITH THE SAME INTENSITY OF YOUR HEART, with a true and sincere wish to forgive.

One day, you will notice that each time you need to repeat the exercise less times, and that the memory returns less frequently. As I said, it may not ever go completely away, but the important thing is that eventually it doesn’t hurt any more. Someday you may even be able to smile at that same memory that today causes you so much unease.

This exercise is great to learn to accept people as they are, instead of always wishing they were different. I don’t wait until something big happens. I use it every time anyone annoys me in any way. Immediately I repeat this prayer with all my heart, as many times as necessary. Usually two or three times eases the sting in my heart and I don’t have to return to it. But if later I notice a little shadow of resentment remains, as soon as I discover it, I go at it again. Harboring any resentment towards anyone is harmful - we must strive to harm no one, including ourselves.

The more we forgive, the deeper is our ability to love, and to accept people as they are. The more we are able to love, the happier we are, because Love is God, and we are made by God, by pure LOVE. Our natural state is one of pure love.

Chandra Says:

March 21st, 2008, 2:52 am

If we understand cluttering , it starts with our getting it in the first place,right?. Granting that we cannot do away with that, the least we can do is to reduce it.
It enters our system through the senses, so how about reducing the TV & internet watching , to begin with .
Definitely a no..no, when we start the day.

Secondly, the world’s problems starting with our neighbourhood which we have perceived through our senses, let the people who are to take care of them ( unless we also have to pitch in those ). Majority of the times, the stress is caused because of our not being able to solve the problems around us. Are we responsible for all bad things aroind us in the world that we want to take care of them all . If you want to solve the problems at home, to neighbourhood to , county to the country and world beyond, let us start from home and then become a member of the local community. The interaction with other members and the team work, gives a feeling of accomplishment and minimises our stres, when any of the situations problems has been attended and solved.
But remember to take one task at a time.

To Nani, Anne and Char , I would like to add that forgiving and forgetting can be assisted by another person - your parents , your mentor ( or Guru) and God in that order( if you are spiritually inclined).

They ( parents and guru or mentor) can for instance ‘touch one’s forehead or temples with both hands and utter ‘ whatever or whoever has been the cause of pain has gone away). This symbolism , like Nani’s suggestion , helps in mitigating the pain.
The Guru or mentor may also take a symbolic object like a ‘ small piece of stone or wood’ and utter that your pain has transmigrated or initiated into it , utter ‘it has gone away’ (several times) and then they wrap it in a piece of cloth or paper and throw it away. This symbolism too might help.No..no , this no voodoo stuff , but does help , as it is done only symbolically.

Teh fact that someone touches your forehead or temples , and even as they keep saying ‘it has gone away’ helps one lessens the pain. Not to mention the healing effect of ;touch’, when someone we trust does that . Hope this is useful.

Leo has done an excellnt job of intiating a dialogue starting witha n intersting and relevant topic. Let us learn to appreciate others too apar from us. Let us give ourselves too rewards whee we have done a good job and reward others too who are less fortunate than us.(this also means sharing )